In the beginning...in the vast darkness called space, one thing led to another and BANG!, a Big Bang occurred. Or as others would have you believe a very large man, with flowing white robes and a beard to match, created all things great and wonderful, all creatures big and small. To all the people who make such claims, I have one quick question I need clarified, "Does he know that you are claiming this imperfect dump and the residents of it to be his handiwork?". No Answer, I didn't think so. No offence to the big guy up there, but he knows i'm saving his reputation. Something this bad and messed up does not belong in the resume of a supreme being.
So where were we?, Ah! Yes!, in the beginning. Now once the universe was created from that huge bang, or by the big guy, whatever makes you happy, the message that early man derived from the universe was plain and simple. As we stared up into the starry skies, our species slowly realized that, yes, they were the superior species on this planet, but, out there, in comparison to the entire universe, we were INSIGNIFICANT specks. We were tiny little specks, dwarfed by the tiniest objects in the heavens. Man resigned to this fate, and worshiped nature for it's abundance.
As time went by and scientific progress was made, the intellectually and mentally superior members of the species stumbled upon many new ways of thinking. All this led to many theories, one of which was the Chaos theory. A theory that gave man a little power over the universe, because, according to this theory, man's slightest action can cause chain reactions that propagate forward and eventually reach all of space and time. Some recognition finally. Ha Ha to you Universe. My flipping the bird can actually cause some damage to your structure, well not right away, but eventually! So There!
With that happy thought in mind, man moved his scientific progress forward, making more and more discoveries, each one boosting his ego a little bit more than the last one until he stumbled upon one more crazy theorem to destroy his little castle in the sky, Causality! This theorem, in layman's terms, is to mankind what a emasculating, nit picking wife was to a hen picked husband. It took away all the credibility to our actions, by stating that our "actions" were merely a result of our chemical structure at a given time. Looks like the universe wins again, thanks to mans newly acquired knowledge. We could now hear the universe sniggering all around us.
Little did the universe know, we had a secret weapon in our bags. A weapon so powerful that humans themselves found it hard to control and comprehend. The only people who could do it successfully ended up looking like this guy:
Presenting to you Quantum Mechanisms! This subject ended up giving us answers to the complications that causality presented. It told us that Causality was lying, also it was not lying and it was a superposition of lying and not lying. This left the rest of us confused. I mean seriously confused.
All this confusion led mankind's fickle mind to wander and we easily landed on the arts to shelter us from the complications that is science. Like a welcoming mistress, art hugged us to her flowery bosom and let us know that there were a lot of neat things invented using arts to distract us from the void of meaning that is existence. Mankind was relieved. Finally, we had a place that answered more questions than it created. The Raphaels and the Picassos now had their time in the lime light. It was their moment in the sun. But not for long, like dew on the grass, the sun of science can be a harsh mistress......
Enter Postmodernism! It did not complicate things. It did not confuse us, rather it aggravated us, it agitated the scientific community that had spent a better part of their "fun" life searching for a meaning to their existence. Existence is void of meaning it said! "What????" Screamed the scientific community in unison......(WTF?? should have been a better expression, but I am sure the F word had not yet been used as a profanity, rather as a sign - Fornication Under Consent of King .. but thats a story for another day!!) A few of them vexed with this rubbish decided to end it all....but in here stepped Evolution...with a simpler message. "No Human, you cannot! You are not programmed to do so!! Ha Ha!!".....
Humanity, unwilling to be outdone by Evolution, decided to head down into Hedonism....a simple job you would think, but sadly, NO!..we were "Clock" blocked by Economics, which very simply said "Dude, you can't afford it!". Mankind stepped back and resigned to it's fate. Or so it appeared. As our Economic stability increased our resources and our knowledge came to an equal level, we could create anything we could possibly imagine. So, man raised his hand in defiance of reality, bent four fingers leaving the middle one standing strong and tall, as he walked into the realm of virtual reality. A place where we are in charge and everything works the way we want!!! As man sat back and gloated on his achievement, in the alternate reality he had himself created for none other than himself, a small thought crossed his mind....a tiny one at the back of his head...and he smiled to himself. FEELS LIKE GOD!!....
As he basked in the glory of his achievement and the point he had reached in development man was now faced with a harsher reality. In Evoulution simulations, even simple machine develop lying and cheating. It seems to be a given in evolution, which means it's a rule for any self-replicating system anywhere in reality and any reality for that matter. Which means there is a universal law as fundemental as the charge of a quark or conservation of energy.... "WHERE THERE IS LIFE, THERE ARE DICKHEADS"
The End!....Or is it!????
Picture courtesy of this, this and that site!
And I recommend that you folks visit smbc. A site that got me thinking on everything from god to penis jokes! A read for the demented little freak in us all! I call it that silent voice inside!
So where were we?, Ah! Yes!, in the beginning. Now once the universe was created from that huge bang, or by the big guy, whatever makes you happy, the message that early man derived from the universe was plain and simple. As we stared up into the starry skies, our species slowly realized that, yes, they were the superior species on this planet, but, out there, in comparison to the entire universe, we were INSIGNIFICANT specks. We were tiny little specks, dwarfed by the tiniest objects in the heavens. Man resigned to this fate, and worshiped nature for it's abundance.
As time went by and scientific progress was made, the intellectually and mentally superior members of the species stumbled upon many new ways of thinking. All this led to many theories, one of which was the Chaos theory. A theory that gave man a little power over the universe, because, according to this theory, man's slightest action can cause chain reactions that propagate forward and eventually reach all of space and time. Some recognition finally. Ha Ha to you Universe. My flipping the bird can actually cause some damage to your structure, well not right away, but eventually! So There!
With that happy thought in mind, man moved his scientific progress forward, making more and more discoveries, each one boosting his ego a little bit more than the last one until he stumbled upon one more crazy theorem to destroy his little castle in the sky, Causality! This theorem, in layman's terms, is to mankind what a emasculating, nit picking wife was to a hen picked husband. It took away all the credibility to our actions, by stating that our "actions" were merely a result of our chemical structure at a given time. Looks like the universe wins again, thanks to mans newly acquired knowledge. We could now hear the universe sniggering all around us.
Little did the universe know, we had a secret weapon in our bags. A weapon so powerful that humans themselves found it hard to control and comprehend. The only people who could do it successfully ended up looking like this guy:
Presenting to you Quantum Mechanisms! This subject ended up giving us answers to the complications that causality presented. It told us that Causality was lying, also it was not lying and it was a superposition of lying and not lying. This left the rest of us confused. I mean seriously confused.
All this confusion led mankind's fickle mind to wander and we easily landed on the arts to shelter us from the complications that is science. Like a welcoming mistress, art hugged us to her flowery bosom and let us know that there were a lot of neat things invented using arts to distract us from the void of meaning that is existence. Mankind was relieved. Finally, we had a place that answered more questions than it created. The Raphaels and the Picassos now had their time in the lime light. It was their moment in the sun. But not for long, like dew on the grass, the sun of science can be a harsh mistress......
Enter Postmodernism! It did not complicate things. It did not confuse us, rather it aggravated us, it agitated the scientific community that had spent a better part of their "fun" life searching for a meaning to their existence. Existence is void of meaning it said! "What????" Screamed the scientific community in unison......(WTF?? should have been a better expression, but I am sure the F word had not yet been used as a profanity, rather as a sign - Fornication Under Consent of King .. but thats a story for another day!!) A few of them vexed with this rubbish decided to end it all....but in here stepped Evolution...with a simpler message. "No Human, you cannot! You are not programmed to do so!! Ha Ha!!".....
Humanity, unwilling to be outdone by Evolution, decided to head down into Hedonism....a simple job you would think, but sadly, NO!..we were "Clock" blocked by Economics, which very simply said "Dude, you can't afford it!". Mankind stepped back and resigned to it's fate. Or so it appeared. As our Economic stability increased our resources and our knowledge came to an equal level, we could create anything we could possibly imagine. So, man raised his hand in defiance of reality, bent four fingers leaving the middle one standing strong and tall, as he walked into the realm of virtual reality. A place where we are in charge and everything works the way we want!!! As man sat back and gloated on his achievement, in the alternate reality he had himself created for none other than himself, a small thought crossed his mind....a tiny one at the back of his head...and he smiled to himself. FEELS LIKE GOD!!....
As he basked in the glory of his achievement and the point he had reached in development man was now faced with a harsher reality. In Evoulution simulations, even simple machine develop lying and cheating. It seems to be a given in evolution, which means it's a rule for any self-replicating system anywhere in reality and any reality for that matter. Which means there is a universal law as fundemental as the charge of a quark or conservation of energy.... "WHERE THERE IS LIFE, THERE ARE DICKHEADS"
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| Every 1 minute a dickhead is born! True Story |
The End!....Or is it!????
Picture courtesy of this, this and that site!
And I recommend that you folks visit smbc. A site that got me thinking on everything from god to penis jokes! A read for the demented little freak in us all! I call it that silent voice inside!
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